This is the time of year when we ritualistically set amazingly lofty goals, which we expect to achieve through sheer force of willpower. We pick the issue that nags at us the most and resolve to finally get it right this year despite our long-time, contradictory habits. It’s more likely than not that we’ll break these promises to ourselves and then end up feeling terrible about the whole endeavor… This cycle is unhealthy and unproductive!
Contrary to Collective Wisdom
Our collective wisdom tells us that we learn more from failure than from success and that change has to be hard. But, a recent study (from the Scientific American) indicates that this may be completely backwards. We focus on the failures, when we should be focusing on our previous successes. We also instinctively believe that we need more discipline to accomplish our goals, but this overlooks the fact that when we’re passionate about something, the motivation and discipline simply come and don’t have to be forced.
If getting something done takes such large amounts of willpower, maybe we’re not spending our time on the right things?
Check out this great video from Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun (via Chris Brogan):
What Really Works?
My results from the 2009 year-end goals I set were imperfect, but still substantial enough to make a real difference in my life today… It turns out that the goals that I actually achieved were based on the things I really *wanted* to change, compared to the things I felt like I *should* change.
So I’ve decided to ease up and get real without all of this militaristic self improvement stuff, once and for all. I’ve put my internal drill sergeant to rest, and the only plans I’m making for 2010 are focused on bringing more fun and more of what I love back into my life.
What do you think? Am I taking the easy way out? What’s worked for you?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t think you are taking the easy way out. Nope, not at all. This approach makes sense to me. I’ve set those goals I felt I should, but then felt bad that I didn’t reach them.
In the last year, I have “just let go” and done what I wanted… travel being one of them. Granted, most of my travels have been domestic (Lord knows my heart yearns for Peru, Greece, Nepal, Argentina – just to name a few), I still am seeing places and/or people that I want… and you know what? I have had the best experiences! Listening to Eddie Vedder live under a full moon in Austin, last minute road trip to Lubbock (of all places!) for music with silly friends, reuniting with college friends and having 3 hour conversations (oh, and lab partners!), laughing with my family while stuck inside for the holidays due to snow. And then there were all the adventures in Egypt, which started and inspired 2009. My next trip is in a few days, and I’m already starting to panic that I don’t have the “next one” planned yet… and I’m just about broke, but oh, well… I’m rich with stories and experiences.
You know, I don’t think you are taking the easy way out. The easy way out is to do what everyone else does… set those goals that you feel you should. It is much braver (and more fun!) to follow your bliss… and most people don’t do it. Most say, “Well, when I reach this point… or when I have this much money… or when…” Well, I don’t mean to sound negative, but “when” might never come around.
And I know keeping this blog is a passion for you and one that I appreciate! I come here when I need some motivation to keep after my passions. So thanks for following this passion of yours! And I owe you an email response… which I plan to do before I leave for New Orleans!
Oh, my… I just read over the above… most of my travel this year has involved Texas! I must go ponder this…
Hi Jenn – Thanks for the thoughts… I completely agree about the “when…” or not yet sentiments. I don’t want to wait around until then either or count on the fact that those times will come. Incorporating more of those important things into my life to make it more purposeful is a huge part of what I’ve been doing, but I’m also just trying to lighten up some, and let go of the idea that I have to have it all figured out!
I’ll look for your email! :) And, have fun in NOLA!